If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
