Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize