Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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