Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
