He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
