kristin has been a bad kristin
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
