this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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