Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
