So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
