..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
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My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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