She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
