I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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