Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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