I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize