Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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