is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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