I think im going to throw up on grandma
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't trust your balls anymore.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
