Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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