The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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