Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
