When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
