Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
