Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
