Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
