So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
