...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
whose parrot is this?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
