there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
