so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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