so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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