I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
