im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
