he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
