Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
