Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
