sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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