Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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