im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
No stitches, just platelets and will power
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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