where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
