just come out here and I will go home with you...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
operation have a gay friend backfired
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
