he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
