Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
