Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
