does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
