My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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