Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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