yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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