is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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