We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
