I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
