I will die if light touches me.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
