Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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