I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
