If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
