Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
