I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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