No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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