help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
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Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize